Good humor though will always be put up REGARDLESS of the politcal affiliation (hey I need to be fair even if I am biased but at least I admit it). Thanks again to Ella for the variuos pics that she sent me via e-mail. The newest set of additions is toward the Top but not neccessarily the newest stuff. Anything that moves here from somewhere else on the page will also be at the top.
If you are looking for humor related to the September 11, 2001 attack click here
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut he asks the barber about his bill. "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The florist is pleased and leaves the shop.The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
Later a Cop comes in for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber, and the barber replies:
"I am sorry I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.
A Democrat comes by for a hair cut and when he asks the barber what he owes, the barber replies:
"I am sorry I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Democrat is very happy and leaves.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds?
A dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.........
Here is our official; carefully worded response to the butchers of Beijing request for an apology for their plane hitting ours
With all the excitement of the White House, Bush still couldn't sleep well, and then, later on that night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asked.
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of the government," Jefferson answered. Bush still couldn't sleep well, and much later he saw another ghostly figure moving in the shadows.
It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asked.
Lincoln replied, "Go see a play."
Thanks to my friend Anna for this one all though I really should've posted it earlier:
The head of Russian election committee is send to the States to help to count the Florida ballots. The next day he reports: "With an advantage of 10% Vladimir Putin is leading in the state of Florida".
The three most powerfull people in the country are now named:
How does that affect our future?
Her is the first draft of the prisdents acceptance speach:
My fellow Americans, it's about damn time.
All you liberals can just kiss my big, white Texas if you think I'm gonna spew a boatload of bipartisan bullshit. Let's set the record straight here. I won, dammit. Hell, I won FOUR OR FIVE TIMES, you stupid bastards. We got the Presidency, we got Congress, and by the end of four years we'll have even more of the Supreme Court. The Republicans are here, and we're gonna show you how it's done.
Ya'll want me to reach across party lines now? How 'bout I reach across and bitch-slap all your sorry-liberal-monkey-asses? How'd ya like that?
Don't get me wrong, here. The sense of satisfaction I'm feeling right now isn't that I've won it's that I won't have to listen to Al Gore bitch and moan about "letting every vote count". The only reason this went as far as it did is because you Democrats have a playground crybaby as your poster-boy, and I for one am glad I won't have to see him on TV anymore. This might soundsnippy, Mr. Gore, but as we used to say in the sandlot...LOSERS WALK!!!
As I said in my campaign, I promised to be a president who focuses on education. My first task as President will be to start an educational program for all you Floriduhh-idiots who can't tell your elbow from your asshole or how to poke a stylus through the right hole.
I don't get you liberal Democrats: when we're talking about Bill Clinton and some office whore, you say that lack of penetration doesn't count; but when it comes to ballots, lack of penetration DOES count. You want a solution to this problem? Take some Viagra, you old farts, and finish what you started next election. Until then, I want to ask you just one question: "Who's yer daddy???"
And so I humbly accept the office of President of these United States.